Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.-
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there in only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the cup of coffee that I had been drinking. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coffee is cold, and I decide to warm it in the microwave. As I head toward the kitchen with the coffee a plant on the counter catches my eye-it needs to be watered. I set the coffee down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the plant. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the phone. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that if it rings we might not be able to find it, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the phone back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter, the plants aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the phone, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. When I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.